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Fools learn from experience. Wise men learn from the experience of others (Otto von Bismark)

When the congregation falls asleep it is time for the minister to wake up.

The measure of greatness is not found in your accomplishments. Its in how much discouragement it takes to stop you.

People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. There is much chaos in this world because things are being loved and people are being used.

Laziness is the mother of all vice... but, it's a mother and you should respect her! (Spanish popular wisdom)

Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, and then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

Talent hits the target which no one else can hit; genius hits the target which no one else can see.

A beautiful relationship does not depend upon how good we understand someone but on how well we avoid misunderstandings.

Wisdom will keep you from getting into situations where you need it. (Bruce M. Sandbrook)

Opportunity is a bald man with a beard: You can catch him coming, but you can' t catch him going.

What is worth having is worth waiting for.

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. (Robert Frost)

An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind. (Mohandas Gandhi)

As long as people keep killing people, to stop the killing of people, the killing will go on.

If love was a raindrop I would send you a shower If hope was a minute I would send you an hour If happiness was a leaf I would send you a tree If you need a friend you will always have me!

Surely it's no coincidence that the word "listen" is an anagram of the word "silent".

May every day of your life together be worse than the next. (Old Irish wedding blessing)

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. (Abraham Lincoln)

A good match blows fire...

You may have grown old, but you may not have grown up.

It is not what you gather but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.

A Sunday school teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible, Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. Then came the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation. When it was his turn, Rick stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?" "No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms?"

A Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah, the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar. And then Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times - "Now," said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?" A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, " I know, I know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"

A Sunday school teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved." "No Joey, is that really what the teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

The banquet was about to begin when the master of ceremonies was informed that the clergyman invited to give the blessing was unable to attend. He asked the main speaker if he would oblige, and the man agreed. He began, "There is no clergyman present, let us thank God."

If you need time alone, try cleaning the house.

If I never had a bad day, how would I know whether I was having a good day? (Lee)

Looks capture the eyes. Personality captures the heart.

Heaven is where the police are British, the mechanics German, the cooks are French, the lovers Italian, and all is organize by the Swiss. Hell is where the police are German, the mechanics are French, the cooks are British, the lovers are Swiss, and it's all organized by the Italians! (Eliane Kirchner)

When you give and don't expect anything back that's love. But if you give and expect a return it's an investment.

God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was no where to be found. Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes returned with the lens in her hand. "How did you manage to find it, Mom?" the teenager asked. "We weren't looking for the same thing," she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150."

Laughter is a smile with the volume turned up.

Sometimes we all have days where we are 386's in a P4 world.

Have you ever noticed how the contents of a box are much more interesting before the box is opened?

It is okay to visit your past just don't bring any luggage with you.

Don't ask God to guide your footsteps if you're not willing to move your feet.

There's a book that tells you where you should go on your vacation. It's called your checkbook.

Knowledge is proud she knows so much; wisdom is humble that she knows no more. (Cowper)

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the ones you did. (Mark Twain)

You can't expect people to look eye to eye with you if you are looking down on them.

We can't always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future. (Franklin D. Roosevelt)

Be not simply good; be good for something. (Henry David Thoreau)

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. (Winston Churchill)

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. (Mark Twain)

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.

A children's catechism class was learning the Apostles Creed. Each child had been assigned a sentence to repeat. The first one said, "I believe in God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth." The second child said, "I believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son."When he had completed his sentence, there was an embarrassing silence. Finally, one child piped up, "Teacher, the boy who believes in the Holy Spirit isn't here."

People laugh because I'm different, I laugh because they're all the same.

My Sunday school class of kindergartners was studying the creation story. After several weeks, we were ready to review. "What did God make the first day?" I quizzed. "The second day?" They answered both questions correctly. "And what happened on the third day?" I asked. One little child, face shining with enthusiasm, exclaimed, "He rose from the dead!"

Hope is the ability to hear the music of the future. Faith is having the courage to dance to it today.

You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours. (Colin Powell)

Impossibility simply means I'm possibility. (Monsieur Nana Adom)

Faith is personal, but never private.

Tears are the baptism of the soul.

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, and paradise is when you have none.

A politician is the one who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Quality rather than quantity determines your success.

Turn the despair of being alone into the wonder of being alone with God.

Don't protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.

At age   4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants. At age 12 success is . . . having friends. At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers license. At age 35 success is . . . having money. At age 50 success is . . . having money. At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license. At age 75 success is . . . having friends. At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

A husband got in big trouble after his wedding anniversary. His wife told him the day before: "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat." The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

We want to have a testimony, but we don't want the test.

Your responsibility is your response to His ability.

Good works are the fruit of salvation not the root.

"When we get home," I lectured my three young sons in the backseat of the car, "I want you all to clean your rooms because Uncle Ed is coming over. He's never been to our house before, and I want it to look tidy." My nine-year-old finally broke a lengthy silence. "But isn't that kind of like lying?"

A little boy took the chair at the barbershop. "How would you like your hair cut today, son?" asked the barber. "Oh, do it like you do Daddy's, with the big hole at the back."

A man and his wife are sitting in the living room and he says to her: "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." His wife gets up and unplugs the TV.

To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends. (Benjamin Franklin)

He that can't endure the bad will not live to see the good. (Yiddish Proverb)

Some people have all the commitment of a kamikaze pilot on his tenth mission. (Lou Holtz)

If I try to be like him, who will be like me? (Yiddish proverb)

I try to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

Sin wouldn't be so attractive, if the wages were paid immediately.

Yesterday today was tomorrow yet tomorrow today will be yesterday.

Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right. (Henry Ford)

Two people shorten a road. (Irish Proverb)

A hundred men may make an encampment, but it takes a woman to make a home.

Always keep several get well cards on the mantel. If unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean.

When you are at school, you wish you where old enough to work. When you are old enough to work, you wish you were at school.

It is risky not to take risk. If you don't take risk, risk will take you. (Archbishop Benson A. Idahosa - Nigeria)

There is never a right way to do the wrong thing.

Avarice hoards itself poor; charity gives itself rich. (German proverb)

Men, as well as women, are much oftener led by their hearts than by their understandings. (Lord Chesterfield)

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? (Kelvin Throop III)

My father said there are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.

While shampooing our son, 4, I noted his hair was growing so fast he'd soon need it cut. He replied, "Maybe we shouldn't water it so much."

A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business. (Henry Ford)

An expert is a man that has made all mistakes possible in a narrow field of expertise (Albert Einstein)

I don't know what weapons will be used in world war three, but in world war four people will use sticks and stones. (Albert Einstein)

You may forget with whom you laughed, but you will never forget with whom you wept.

It is not how much of your money you are going to give to God, but how much of God's money you are going to keep for yourself.

Work with every buyer as though that person represents a thousand referrals. (Tom Hopkins)

To be content with little is hard; to be content with much is impossible. (Marie Ebner-Eschenbach)

Those who race through life finish first. (Darrel Hunsbedt)

A man's knowledge can never outweigh his experience.

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. (Sicilian Proverb)

If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size? (Sydney J. Harris)

Our marriage was a love match pure and simple; she was pure and I was simple.

Most of us have a bad habit we are constantly trying to break. For me, it's biting my fingernails. One day I told my husband about my latest solution: press-on nails. "Great idea, honey," he smiled. "You can eat them straight out of the box."

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. (Warren Buffet)

You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once. (Polish Proverb)

It is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy.

A promise is a debt. (Irish Proverb)

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot. (Michael Althsuler)

Better to bend than to break. (Indian proverb)

You don't win silver. You lose gold.

No amount of darkness can hide a spark of light.

Be like the flower that perfumes the very hand that crushes it.

One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a "battle" that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 "wolves" inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

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