One Liners (b - c)
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| Baby: A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
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| Bacteria: the only culture some people have.
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| Bad planing on your part does not necessarily constitute an automatic emergency on my part.
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| Be as friendly to the janitor as you are to the chairman of the board.
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| Beat me with the truth, don't torture me with lies.
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| Be at peace with yourself first and then you will be able to bring peace to others. (Thomas A. Kempis)
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| Beautiful faces are those that wear whole-souled honesty printed there. (Ellen Palmer Allerton)
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Beautiful hands are those that do.....
deeds that are noble, good, and true.
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| Beautiful young people are acts of nature, but beautiful old people
are works of art.
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| Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I'm not one to judge.
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| Beauty is only skin deep...but ugly goes all the way to the bone!
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| Beauty is quite different from charm, beauty is what you notice in a woman, charm is when a woman notices you.
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Be beautiful if you can, wise if you want to...
But be respected, that is essential. (Anna Gould)
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| Be bold in what you stand for; and careful what you fall for.
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| Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. (Mark Twain)
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Be careful of the words you say.
And keep them soft and sweet.
For you never know from day to day.
Which ones you'll have to eat.
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| Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.
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Because you are someone special
I send jou my love today
For you are verry wonderful
In each and every way
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| Been there, done that and have the tee-shirt to prove it.
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| Before a man can stand he must learn to kneel.
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Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children.
Now I have six children and no theories. (John Wilmot)
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| Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy they are who already possess it. (Francois de La Rochefoucauld)
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| Before you can break out of prison, you must realize that you are locked up.
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| Before you point your fingers be sure your hands are clean.
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| Be good or be good at it!
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| Be grateful for the gifts you have rather than lament those you have not.
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| Behaviour is a mirror in which everyone shows his image. (Goethe)
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Behind every successful man is his woman.
Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. (Mr Sim York Soo)
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| Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, and then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
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| Being cool, is not trying to be cool.
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| Being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart. (Richard Carlson)
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| Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are - you aren't. (Margaret Thatcher)
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| Being right is highly overrated. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
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| Being yourself is being the person everyone else wants you to be.
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| Believe in miracles, but don't depend on them.
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| Believe your beliefs and doubt your doubts. (F.F. Bosworth)
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| Be like the flower that perfumes the very hand that crushes it.
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| Be more concerned about your character than about your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think of you.
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| Be nice to everyone on your way to the top because you pass them all on the way down. (Fred A. Hufnagel Sr.)
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| Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still. (Chinese proverb)
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| Be not simply good; be good for something. (Henry David Thoreau)
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| Be of use, but don't be used.
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| Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing. (Benjamin Franklin)
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Best friends don't ask you: "Is something wrong?"
Best friends ask you: "Whats wrong?"
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| B(est) I(nformation) B(efore) L(eaving) E(arth).
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| Be tender to the young, compassionate to the aged, tolerant with the weak. For in your life you will be all of these.
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| Be thankful for problems. If they were less difficult, someone with less ability might have your job.
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| Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.
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| Better a good heart than a fair face. (Japenese proverb)
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| Better an end with pain, than pain with no end.
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| Better to bend than to break. (Indian proverb)
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| Better to light a candle, than to curse the darkness.
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| Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. (Abraham Lincoln)
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| Better to understand little than to misunderstand a lot.
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| Better untaught than ill-taught.
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| Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.
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| Be who you are and say what you feel: because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. (Dr. Suess)
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| Be ye fishers of men, you catch them -- He will clean them.
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| Be yourself- who else is better qualified? (Frank J. Giblin II)
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| Big doesn't necessarily mean better..sunflowers aren't better than violets.
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| Big Ideas are so hard to recognize, so fragile, so easy to kill. Don't forget that, all of you who don't have them. (John Elliot, Jr.)
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BIRTHDAY BELIEF SYSTEMS
Idealism: Happy Birthday.
Capitalism: I shopped all day for your birthday.
Atheism: I can't believe it's your birthday.
Hinduism: Holy Cow! Is it your birthday?
Taoism: It's everybody's birthday.
Buddhism: If your birthday party was held in the forest and nobody came... would it make a sound?
Existentialism: Your birthday means nothing to me.
Sarcasm: You don't look half bad for someone twice your age.
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| Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. (Rev. Larry Lorenzoni)
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| Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. (Michael McGriff, M.D.)
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| Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt. (Herbert Hoover)
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| Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, they will never cease to be amused.
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| Blessed is he who doesn't show hatefulness over what is lost, but instead, shows gratefulness over what is left.
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| Blessed is he who, having nothing to say, refrained from giving wordy
evidence of the fact.
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| Blowing out another's candle will not make yours shine brighter.
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| B positive is not my blood group, still its in my blood.
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| Bones; there are 206 in the human body. No need for dismay, however: two bones of the middle ear have never been broken in a skiing accident.
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| Boredom is a sign of unused potential.
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| Boredom sets into boring minds.
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| Born twice, die once. Born once, die twice.
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Borrow money from pessimists.
They don't expect it back.
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| Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
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| Buses stop at bus stations, trains at train stations, my desk has a workstation.
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| Butcher's window: Let me meat your needs.
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| But the lies we live will always be confessed in the stories that we tell. (Orson Scott Card)
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| By learning to obey, you will know how to command. (Italian Proverb)
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| By the time a man realises that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.
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| By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
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| By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game.
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| By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. (Mark Twain)
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| Cancer is so limited, It cannot corrode faith, It cannot shatter hope,It cannot kill friendships, It cannot cripple love, It cannot destroy peace, It cannot silence courage, It cannot suppress memories, It cannot conquer the spirit.
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Can't never could do anything.
Till could came along and whipped Can't butt...
now can't can do a lot.
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| Can't never did anything but fail (Mr. Eaton)
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| Can you remember when you didn't want to sleep? Isn't it inconceivable? I guess the definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep. (Paula Poundstone)
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| Celibacy is not an inherited characteristic.
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| Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. (Warren Buffet)
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| Challenges can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks. It's just a matter of how you view them.
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| Change your thoughts and you change your world. (Norman Vincent Peale)
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| Changing one thing for the better is worth more than proving a thousand things are wrong.
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| Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. (Abraham Lincoln)
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| Character is made by what you stand for; reputation, by what you fall for. (Robert Quillen)
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| Character is what a person is in the dark. (Dwight Moody)
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| Charity begins at home. Success begins at work.
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| Charity may begin at home, but if it goes no further, it's no longer charity. It's clan loyalty.
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| Charm is getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. (Albert Camus)
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| Cheerfulness is contagious, but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a "carrier".
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| Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
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| Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need do to lose weight is to take a bath.
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| Children are natural mimics. They act like their parents in spite of every attempt to teach them good manners.
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Children go through four life stages with dads:
1) They call you da-da.
2) They call you daddy.
3) They call you dad.
4) They call you collect.
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| Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.
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| Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. (Harold S. Hulbert)
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| Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
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| Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
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| Choose a job you like and you will never have to work a day of your life.(Confucius)
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| Choose well. Your choice is brief, and yet endless. (Goethe)
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| Choose your love, love your choice.
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| Christians aren't perfect, they're just forgiven!
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| Church is the only place I know, where I can arrive late and get the best seats in the house!
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| Church is the only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members. (William Temple)
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| Church members are either pillars or caterpillars..the pillars hold up the church, and the caterpillars just crawl in and out.
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Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing
is like shoveling the walk before it has stopped snowing.
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| Clock: A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.
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| Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. (Mark Twain)
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| Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
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Coins are made by mint of metal.
Character is made by dint of mettle.
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| Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
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| College is that bright interlude of freedom a young man has between subjection to his mother and submission to his wife.
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| Come, work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.
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Coming together is a beginning,
Staying together is progress,
Working together is success. (Henry Ford)
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| Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
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| Common sense is genius dressed up in work clothes. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
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| Communication by empathy is a talent that few possess.
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| Compromise: the art of dividing a cake so that everybody believes he or she got the biggest piece.
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| Conditions are never just right. People who delay action until all factors are favorable do nothing. (William Feather)
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| Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
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| Confidence, like art, never comes from having all the answers; it comes from being open to all the questions. (Earl Gray Stevens)
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| Confrontation doesn't always bring a solution to the problem, but until you confront the problem, there will be no solution. (James Baldwin)
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| Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
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| Consider how hard it is to change yourself; and you will understand what little chance you have trying to change others.
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| Constant use will wear out anything... especially friends.
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| Consumers are statistics, customers are people.
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| Contentment is not to be found in having what you want, but rather wanting
what you have
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| Contingencies have tendencies to become dependencies. (W. Thomas McQueeney)
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| Conviction is worthless unless it is converted into conduct. (Thomas Carlyle)
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Copy from one its plagiarism.
Copy from two its research.
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Count your blessings instead of your crosses,
Count you gains instead of your losses,
Count your joys instead of your woes,
Count your friends instead of your foes.
Count your courage instead of your fears,
Count your laughs instead of your tears.
Count your full years instead of your lean,
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.
Count your health instead of your wealth,
Count on God instead of yourself.
(Irish Blessing)
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| Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms.
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| Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says...I'll try again tommorrow.
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| Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. (Ambrose Redmoon)
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Courage is not the absence of fear.
Courage is the precence of fear with the capacity to manage and overcome it.
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Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak.
Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. (Winston Churchill)
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Creation of woman from the rib of Man:
She was not made from his head to top him;
nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him;
but out of his side to be equal with him,
under his arm to be protected,
and near his heart to be loved.
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| Crime has already been organised. Now it's up to the police.
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| Criticism should always leave people with the feeling that they have been helped.
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Cultivate money and you grow rich.
Cultivate mind and you raise culture.
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Comment or Share Your Own One Liner
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